Alcohol really is quite amazing. It's rare to find a substance (legally) that can make you wake up the next morning and think "WOW, what in the hell gave me the idea to do THAT?" that is, if you even have the ability to remember what "that" actually is. Case in point? Rocking out in your boxer-briefs.
Yes, for some unholy reason, alcohol has the ability to take the exact opposite of your inner self, and turn you into something you probably don't want to be. I hate dancing. I have the rhythm of a rock, and the moves of an abandoned ship in shallow waters, and yet after consuming a pint of Arrogant Bastard Ale, followed by whatever alcohol was around me at the given time, I suddenly found myself to be the worlds greatest dancer/singer. Jesus Christ is this not really the case.
It was like a scene out of the movie "Breakin," and in this scene, me and Ozone were dance-battling, winner takes all, all the while in my boxers. I like to think I won. Why did I decide to do this for the amusement of many, and to do it for an hour straight? Because of what I like to call "PotentALE energy." I'll elaborate. When alcohol is consumed, it invades those inner labyrinths where we hide the things we'd rather people not see. Like our male affinity to take advantage of helpless girls, and for girls habit to become emotion filled drama-bags while drunk. While stored in the muscles, these possibilities are called our "potentALE energy." The alcohol then releases these inner demons into the blood, where chaos is reeked on the body.
The "potentALE energy" under goes a chemical change, thus becoming "jackass molecules" while in the blood. These molecules cause the body to react in ways we regularly try not to. These jackass molecules are what cause you to think that you are in fact attractive and that all the opposite sex wants to make out with you, that you are in fact funny and that putting a trash can on your head will be "hilarious", and that you can sing and dance while in your boxers. You can't argue with my findings, its science.
There's is no cure for this natural handicap, besides not drinking. So ill repeat myself. There is no cure. All you can really do is wake up, look at the mysterious person in bed next to you and say "This isn't my fault, its all because of science." If that doesn't work, just drink more. Perhaps your potentALE energy will cause you to jump out the window and run home, thus allowing you a way to forget the previous night ever happened. Then once home, watch Breakin. Ozone's freakin tight.