For a period of nearly 2 months I abandoned my occupation as a fun-loving teenager and became a highly paid mule for the construction industry. Why? For one reason because you could bonk me over the head with two by four and I wouldn’t feel a thing through my hardhat. For another reason I got paid 24.44 an hour. But mainly, I did it for the chicks. Chicks dig guys in neon orange vests that can tote around hammers and a hard ass attitude all day. To illustrate just what I mean, here is an excerpt from a conversation between myself and an actual real life girl:
Daniel: Boy I am tired from my hard day of work, and my feet really stink. Could you hold my beer while I open another frosty brew?
Girl: Sure, but why don’t you just set the beer on my head instead so that both of my hands are free to give you a foot rub.
Daniel: Sounds good to me. Say-
Girl: Oops! I spilled beer all over myself, could you help me take off all of my clothes now?
Daniel: Sure. What did you say your name was again?
Girl: Anna Kournikova. But enough talk, I’d like to have fabulous sex with you.
Daniel: Here? Now?
Anna Kournikova: Yes, now, you hammer wielding god of a man in a sexy neon orange vest.
Okay, okay, so I drifted from the truth a little bit. Actually, come to think of it, whenever I try to talk to girls, they either throw things at me or bite.